Bluestar's Wondaful Skewl
by Ruling Rabbit of the Universe
Summary: When Starclan gets bored, what do they do? Make prophecies of course! This time they're making all the Warrior Cats go to school. I tried to make this funny, so it turned out to be quite retarded. Sorry if i copied any of you guys...
1. Starclan is Bored

A/N: this is my first FanFic so PLZ NO FLAMES! Most of this is random and retarded. Y'know, I'm just warning u here….I do not own Warriors, or Guitar Hero III or any of the songs that i might use.Im really really sorry if i copy one of you guys... R&R!

"Let all of Starclan gather here…yadda yadda yadda." Said Bluestar, who sounded extremely bored. Because everyone was playing Guitar Hero III, they ignored her. "EVERYBODY HERE NOW! OR YOU ALL LOSE YOUR COOKIE PRIVILEGES FOR A WEEK!" yowled Bluestar at the top of her lungs. All cats of Starclan dashed over to where Bluestar was standing, because no one wanted to lose their cookie privileges. Bluestar, being completely satisfied, smiled her little kitty smile and mewed, "Even though we promised the four Clans that all is peaceful now, we're getting bored." All the cats murmured agreements. "…So, we should decide on a new prophecy. Either that or we must make them do something TOTALLY unexpected."

"Sounds good to me."

"I guess, it's not like we have anything better to do."

"I like cheese!"

"Huh?" Everyone turned around to stare at Spottedleaf.

"Spottedleaf?"

"Yes, Bluestar?"

"Have you been taking your medication lately?"

"Oh darn it! Thanks for reminding me, Bluestar!" said Spottedleaf as she sprinted back to her den to take her medication.

"…Ok…so shall we create a new prophecy or make all cats do something stoopid?"

Yellowfang raised her paw.

"Yes, Yellowfang?"

"I think we should do BOTH!"

"Great idea, Yellowfang!" shouted Silverstream.

"Yeah! We should send them a prophecy…and make them do stoopid stuff!" cried Redtail.

"Okay, so does anyone object to this?"

No one said a word.

"So it is decided then! But now to decide the prophecies…"

"Hmm…how about 'Darkness, air, water and sky will come together and shake the forest to its roots," suggested Willowpelt.

"Nah."

"Why, Raggedstar?"

"I just don't know. That doesn't sound…right."

"Grr…You just try to come up with a better one!

Raggedstar had a look of triumph in his eyes. "I already have," he proudly declared. " 'Before there is peace, blood will spill blood and the lake will run red.'" Everyone stared at the proud warrior. "Uh…well…it's better than Willowpelt's ("Hey!")" replied Bluestar. "Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Pick MEEEEEEE!!!" Bluestar tilted her head to look at the source of the desperate shouts. "Okay, fine Spottedleaf, tell the clan what u have to say…"

"Okay! Okay…here it is… 'Be aware, be cautious, be careful, or LIIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEES will take over your homes!"

And it went on and on and on and on like that until Lionheart rawred (yes rawred, not roared) "QUIET!" When they still wouldn't shut up, he said, just above a whisper, "Listen to me…or I will take away your Guitar Hero III." Like magic, the crowd shut up. "Okay, that's better," he sighed. "Now Whitestorm here has a GOOD prophecy, that I think you will all like it."

"Okay…'All shall be trained, as all will soon teach, but life will change as we know it.'"

"Um…it has the 'everyone is all confused' thing…but what does it mean?" said Bluestar. Whitestorm grinned slyly and replied, "It means they all have to go to school."


	2. Limes, Peanuts, and Bunnies

"Cinderpeeeeeeeeeeelt!" cried Leafpaw.

"What?" mumbled Cinderpelt. She wasn't used to waking up about four hours after she had just fallen asleep. "I hope you got a very good reason for waking me up this early!"

"Well, I do! I do!"

"Ok, then what is it?"

"I got a PROPHECY!"

"Okay…GO ON…"

"There were bunnies and limes and peanuts everywhere! And they were saying 'Lalalalala…Moomoomoomoo…meowmeowmeowmeow…flufffluffluffluff…'"

"THAT'S NOT A PROPHECY!"

"But then," said Leafpaw, glaring at Cinderpelt. "They said, 'All shall be trained, as all will soon teach, but life will change as we know it.'"

☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻

The whole time Bluestar was looking into the pool that shows the world of the warriors, and saw Leafpaw tell Cinderpelt the prophecy. She sighed. "I thought you took your medication today before you sent Leafpaw the prophecy!"

"Well, I did!"

"Yeah right! Limes and peanuts and bunnies? And Oakheart! I thought you were supervising Spottedleaf while she was taking her medication!"

"I…did."

Bluestar scoffed, then stalked away to play Guitar Hero III with all the other Clan cats. Oakheart stared at a huge wad of money and a box of kitty toys. Spottedleaf grinned, and said, "Great job Oakheart! I knew you would understand my hatred of the medication."

"All this for me?" he replied.

"Well, if you keep your yap shut that I flushed my meds down the toilet, it's all yours."

Oakheart's eyes followed the box as she moved it up and down. "Deal," he said, and shook paws with Spottedleaf. "This better be worth it," he sighed.

☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺

That day, at the Gathering….

All leaders jumped onto the Great Rock. Blackstar, Leopardstar, and Tallstar started talking about their Clans and apparently there was nothing wrong going on. Then Firestar started talking. "I'm bored and now our medicine cat had gotten a prophecy. Someone go get me a strawberry milkshake!" A few cats got up and threw pies and tomatoes at Firestar, and finally one threw a strawberry milkshake. "Ok," he said, smacking his lips. His face was covered in pie and milkshake. "Leafpaw, tell everybody about your prophecy." Unfortunately, Leafpaw and a few other carts had fallen asleep. So, Brackenfur found a coconut and dropped it on her. "Huh? Huh? What? Hey, this isn't my den!" cried Leafpaw. "No, it isn't," said Tawnypaw. "Now, go on about your dream!"

"You want to know about my dream?"

"YES!" cried everyone in the forest. "Well, okay. I was talking to this rabbit and he was all like, "Hi, like, my name is, like, Cinnamon." And then we were talking and this HUGE bird was about to swoop down and…" said Leafpaw and when she looked up she saw all eyes glaring at her, "What?" she said, having no idea what she did wrong. "Tell us about the PROPHECY!"

"Oh! Well then why didn't you say so?" Everyone rolled their eyes. "Since the beginning of my dreams was like, weird, I'm gonna skip all that stuff…"

Five minutes later…

"So all in all, the dream said, 'All shall be trained, as all will soon teach, but life will change as we know it.'"

"Well, I'm guessing that Starclan wants us to eat monkeys!" cried Leopardstar.

…

Cough.

"Sure…"

"I know! We shall use our special prophecy translating thing-a-ma-piggy!" said Cloudtail. Everyone followed him to the old piggy that was named 'RawrRawrFace.' "O' Great RawrRawrFace," said the Clan leaders in unison. "We have received a prophecy from Starclan it is 'All shall be trained, as all will soon teach, but life will change as we know it.' O' Great RawrRawrFace…What does it mean?"

"Okay, first, pay up."

Every cat stood in line to give the Great RawrRawrFace a gift, most of which was either mud, or food. Someone even gave him bacon. "Okay…Hmmm….'All shall be trained, as all will soon teach, but life will change, as we know it…. Let me get back to you on that in a month." Everybody stifled a groan as they walked away from the oh so great, prophecy deciphering piggy.


	3. Leafpaw's Dream

A/N: Yay! I updated! And people really do read my stories! Yay! Well…this story isn't all that funny, but plz don't kill me! Some of it is (I guess) funny…but most of it is stupid or weird crap. Yeah.And I deleted that Author's Note from before. BTW:

I do not own Warriors. Or anything really. Except the idea for the "I like to eat my own poop" thing. HAHA. I dared my friend to say that in front of her crush. HAHA. Anyway, since this (my author's note) is getting stupid, I hope you enjoy the chappie!

"Ugh!" screeched Bluestar. "Sorry," said Oakheart, with a smug smile plastered on his face. "You have to give a Spottedleaf all of your monkey plushies!"

"But why?" sobbed Bluestar. "Well, because I beat you at GOLDFISH! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" cackled Spottedleaf.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Oakheart rolled his eyes and asked, "Who is giving ThunderClan a few clues about the prophecy? That RawrRawrFace was NO help at all!"

"Clues?!" cried Spottedleaf. "I wanna do it! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Buh-Bye now!"

"Oh no…poor Leafpaw," muttered Oakheart.

Leafpaw yawned and made herself comfortable in her den. 'Hmm…I wonder what the prophecy means…I hope it wasn't a joke…I wonder if rabbits will rule the world…'she thought. She counted sheep, even thought she barely knew what they were, and fell asleep.

A huge figure loomed in front of Leafpaw. "Don't kill me!" she whimpered. She looked up to see that it was… a cow. A giant pink and purple polka-dotted cow! It stomped around, squishing a few trees, and gobbled the awkwardly excited kitty.

"Wheeeeeeeeee!" screamed Leafpaw as she slid down the cow's esophagus. As she landed in the stomach, she saw another figure. "Hi Leafpaw!" said the figure. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Scary stalkery person! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Tee hee…"said Spottedleaf. "I know where you live… and where you sleep…"

That sent Leafpaw screaming and banging on the walls of the stomach.

After a few minutes of ear-splitting screaming, Spottedleaf finally told Leafpaw that she WASN'T a stalker and that she was supposed to give her clues about the prophecy. "Me Spottedleaf. Me give vision. Vision say prophecy. You yay!" she had said. "Huh?" said Leafpaw. "Oh, YOULL SEE!" Spottedleaf said impatiently. With that, she grabbed a hold of Leafpaw's scruff and dragged her out of the cow to a sparkling pool. They gazed into it and images flashed.

o0o0o0o0o0o0 o0o0o0o0o0o0 o0o0o0o0o0o0 o0o0o0o0o0o0 o0o0o0o0o0o0 o0o0o0o0o0o0

Apprentices with bags on their backs chatted and strolled over to a figure. On it was a bunch of symbols that seemed to have no meaning, including a lightning bolt. The figure, all in all, looked like a hotdog convertible. They climbed in and the hot dog flew up into the sky. Another vision glimmered in the pool. There were walls that could open. B­ut they weren't doors. They were locked and the apprentices that were assigned to them twirled the lock with their paws, and they opened. Leafpaw gasped. There was never such a thing! Then another image gleamed in the pool. "I'm BORED now!" said Leafpaw. "It's okay, Leafpaw. This is the last one!" The last image was the apprentices sitting in desks (which Leafpaw only knew because she was dared to go into the TwoLeg dictionary and read the first thing she saw, which was 'desk'). Anyway, the apprentices sat and scribbled with wr­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­iting sticks while Lionheart of StarClan stood at the front and meowed. "Is that ALL?" moaned Leafpaw. "Oh stop whining and complaining!" snapped Spottedleaf. "Didn't you see? I wasn't whining and complaining! I was moaning!" Spottedleaf rolled her eyes and said, "Oh! I gotta go now! Time to give Oakheart his daily bri­­—I mean gift. Now go back into the pink and purple polka-dotted cow so you can go back home." With that, Leafpaw leaped into the cow and immediately woke up from her cow-filled dream. Meanwhile, as Leafpaw was waking up, Spottedleaf returned to StarClan. "OAKHEART!" she screeched. "TIME FOR YOUR DAILIES!" Oakheart raced over to her. "What'd you get me this time?" he asked. "A FLUFFY MOUSY TOY WITH THE FLUFFY MOUSY FISHY FOODY!" she replied, quite excited.

"Uh…Spottedleaf?"

"WHAT?"

"I think it's time for your medication."

"WHAT? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I REFUSE!"

"Well you need it! And I'm taking the toys and food!"

"Stop! Or I'll upload the picture of you at that Christmas party!"

Oakheart's face reddened deeply, to the shade of roses. "NO! Not _that_ picture!" Spottedleaf grinned. "Aww yeah!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Hey did you hear that?" said Leafpaw. "You mean that sound from the sky that seemed to say 'No!'" replied Squirrelpaw.

"Yup. Anyway, I had a dream."

"Wow. I did too."

"No, I mean I had a dream from StarClan."

"Yeah, sure whatever."

"Well THAT was rude! Now you're a RUDEY PATOOTIE!"

"Uh…no. I was just trying to end the conversation so I could go hunting."

"OH…I knew that."

Squirrelpaw rolled her eyes and went over to Dustpelt. Leafpaw decided to tell Cinderpelt about her dream. "OH CIIIIIIIINDERPEEEEEEEEELT!" she screeched.

"What?!" snapped Cinderpelt, who was, unfortunately right next to Leafpaw.

"I…had…a…dream…from…StarClan," she declared, pronouncing all her dots (You know: I, dot dot dot, had, dot dot dot, etc.) She then described with great detail to Cinderpelt about the cow, how she thought Spottedleaf was a stalker, the insides of the cow, and the visions from the pool.

"Well? Did you like the descriptions?"

"Um…yes?"

"Yay! When should we tell Firestar?"

"I…do not know. I'm too lazy and busy for now so let's write it down and tell him right before the Gathering three weeks from now!"

"Well… why?"

"I do not know. Now feed me corn syrup!"

"What?"

"I do not know."

"_No one_ does," said Leafpaw. She strolled over to where Bramblepaw and Squirrelpaw were arguing and poked them both in the head. "Everyone knows that YOU TWO can't get along! You'll never be friends!" screamed Leafpaw. She was tired of them fighting every single day, noon, afternoon, and night. All of the Clans nodded. Suddenly Leafpaw screamed, "LIKES, OMSC! OMSC! OMSC! I…LIKE, TOTALLY LIKE TO, LIKE, EAT MY OWN POOP!"

"HUH?!"

Meanwhile in StarClan…

"SPOTTEDLEAF! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!"

"Do what?" purred Spottedleaf innocently.

"Make Leafpaw say that she liked to eat her own poop!"

"She does?"

"D'oh!"

A/N:

Sorry I kinda ended weird. But I need you to review! Or the pink and purple polka-dotted cow will come and at you!!!


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